Fallen Leaves

****Originally posted on Fertility Matters Canada***

 

October has always been my favourite month. I grew up in the Eastern Townships in Quebec and Autumn was always my favourite. The crisp cool air was a sweet relief from a hot and humid summer. Hearing and feeling the leaves crunch under my feet and the warmth of a favourite scarf or sweater, so cozy! Apple picking with family or friends was a highlight of the season and that first bite of a tart, crisp Macintosh apple, so delicious! But the very best part of autumn in Quebec is the foliage. The scenery painted in vibrant hues of yellow, red, orange, green, brown and purple. The trees stand in all their brilliance and glory, and it is breathtaking.

It is strange to think that these splendid, vivid coloured leaves are in their last stage of life. As they fall to the ground, the trees become bare and the fallen leaves will soon be buried under the first snow fall and it always happens so quickly.

 

In some ways, my miscarriage reminds me of a falling leaf.

 

A life slipping away and there is nothing you can do to pause or stop it from happening. Soon to follow is the grief much like the cold, dark winter. Frozen, broken and shattered.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. It is a month to remember all of the little lives gone too soon. It is a time to remember babies born sleeping, babies who were carried but never held, babies who were held but could not stay. 1 in 4 people experience this loss and October is a time to raise awareness and break the silence.

“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or a widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” – Ronald Reagan

 

October can be a difficult month

 

… as our social media is flooded with adorable photos of children in pumpkin patches, families apple picking and children playing in piles of leaves. As cute as these photos are, they come with a pang of jealousy and grief. This October, join me in shattering the silence of miscarriage and infant loss by raising awareness. Let’s remember our beautiful, little fallen leaves. Let’s speak their names and remember their stories. On October 15th, I invite you to light a candle in remembrance of our babies who we carry and hold in our hearts. Let’s join together in solidarity and help break the silence surrounding infant and pregnancy loss. You are not alone!

“A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long.” E. E. Cummings


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