Lead on, My God

Rick once asked me why I named my blog “Lead, kindly light” and I didn’t really know. It’s the name of a song that I really like and it just resonates with me. The lyrics also hit home a bit. Here’s the first verse:

“Lead, kindly Light, amidst the grey and gloom
The night is long and I am far from home
Here in the dark, I do not ask to see
The path ahead-one step enough for me
Lead on, lead on, kindly Light.”

Grey and gloom seem all too familiar to me. The last few years have been challenging in many ways. Most who suffer from infertility related issues will agree that it can be a very dark place. Grey and gloomy. Everyone has their own way of getting through life’s gloomy days but I must admit, the only things that are getting me through everything is my supportive husband and God and they hope that’s offered through Him. I like to think of them as my “light”. Life is harsh, but my husband and my God are not. They are loving and gentle. I think as I have pondered on the name of my blog, it represents Rick & God, who are my light leading me kindly through grey and gloomy days.

August 18th was my 6 month follow up appointment with my endocrinologist. 6 months gone, 6 more to go. I was nervous for my appointment. I was uncertain of how it would go. Had I lost enough weight? Was I doing good? Did my blood tests reflect any changes? So many questions and thoughts going through my mind. The appointment only lasted 10 minutes – and those 10 minutes were wonderful! I am right on track in my treatment, my symptoms from PCOS are getting under control – which is more than I could have ever imagined. The Dr. said that I should be very proud of myself and that Rick and I should celebrate! How good did that feel! If I continue doing what I have been doing in 6 months from now, my treatment will be complete and we will be able to begin trying to start a family. I left the office that day, smiling from ear to ear. It feels so good to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know there may still be struggles ahead, and more difficult days but that little bit of good news will carry me through.

What makes me sad, is that PCOS is hugely misunderstood by physicians and even gynecologists. When most people are diagnosed with PCOS, they’re given birth control and suggested to lose weight until you’re ready to conceive, and then you’re put on fertility drugs (which have a whole other set of side effects) until you conceive. The problem is that with PCOS, once you’re pregnant your chances of miscarriage is very high, as are your chances for complications. I don’t know why my endocrinologist seems to have a solution for PCOS when other dr’s don’t…but if you have PCOS and are reading this…my treatment is working!!! Fight for your health, don’t settle. Push for answers and a solution! I’m not saying that what I’m doing is the only way, or the best way…all I can tell you is that it’s working and I am SO thankful and grateful for my endocrinologist. If you want more information, feel free to contact me.

My parents and brother Aaron left yesterday after a 2 week, impromptu visit. I’ll write more about all of that in my next blog.

I posted this video before, but I am going to do it again since I spoke of the song in the beginning of my blog. Enjoy!


2 thoughts on “Lead on, My God

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